Welcome to Parkdale.

I moved into a beautifully eclectic neighbourhood of Toronto in the middle of July and though only recently have I been spending a suitable amount of time in the new palace of Parkdale to call it my home I have become quite fond of the neighbourhood and its many characters.

For those unaware, Parkdale is the interesting community tucked between jameson st to the west, ossington to the east, queen to the north, and king to the south. The demographic which resides in Parkdale is multifaced to say the least. It is this odd mix of low income, young 20 somethings, homeless, Asian families, and those who seem to be the most outspoken of all, the resident "crackies" for lack of a better term.

The most famous of the local residents has to be Kevin Clarke, independent mayor candidate, whose platform is comprised of chalk drawings throughout the neighbourhood encouraging such positive messages as:

• "Save the Children"

• "Think of the Children"

• "Believe in Children"

and of course,

• "Stop the Cops"

Anyone familiar with downtown Toronto will no doubt be familiar with Mr. Clarke and his chalk campaign for mayor as he is quite visible in his colourful outfits ranging from Carribana poster child to oppressed collared judge like get up. I had become familiar with Mr. Clarke and his platform for sometime but only recently, thanks to an evening stoop sitting, was I made aware that our potential mayor to be lives directly across the street from me.

Needless to say I was overwhelmed, and now thanks to my frequent donation of cigarettes to my favorite political candidate we have become friends, and I am now contemplating governing his run for office. We are planning a campaign expansion looking at posters with finger paints, corner puppet shows, and a soap box platform using old milk crates and stolen baby carriages to literally roll his message all the way to Queen's Park.

Now some may say that supporting a random, somewhat "crazy" independent candidate for mayor is silly, however, just the other day while enjoying another stoop sitting NDP candidate (aka my usual pony) Cheri DiNovo was door to door campaigning for the up coming MPP elections, and was verbally outwitted, outvolumed, and out-poetically matched, by Mr Kevin Clarke who stood across the street rhyming and raving his platform flustering the crap out of poor Miss DiNovo.

I think the combination of Layton's mustache and Clarke's flash could have the big orange rhyming their way into political power.

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Monday, August 28, 2006