I recommend four healthy servings of schlock and boredom a day.

What happens to someone who consumes 4 cans of V8 juice in a day? I heard somewhere on the weekend that vegetable juice is an amazing source of rejeuvanation and cleansing and after the weekend I just had it seemed apropros that I engage in some sort of liquid inspired detoxification.

As I finish the final sips of my 12th serving of vegetables, comprised of an even 3 servings of tomato paste, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach, salts and seasoning per can, Im starting to feel a little funny inside. Its an odd mixture of full yet nourished, nauseated yet at peace with nature. I am still so tired from the weekend, yet my fingers have the stregth of 10 stenographers.

I look out my window and see the trees in a whole new light, nature has given my eyes a new look onto the world. Formerly influenced by the side effects of hopps and barley, where inspired visions would include concocted beauty from auburn bottle goggles and a belief that I knew how to dance, the brown and auburns are replaced by greens and reds flourishing like never before. I picture myself taking a pee and from that pee a giant beanstock would grow, high, high into the sky. Oh look Im climbing, climbing into the clouds. The birds are waving, the trees are making sure I dont fall. Im floating, floating on a bed of Vitamins A, C, Calcium, and Iron. Cambells you dog, you should've got Warhol to capture this sensation instead of your boring soup cans.

Don't be ignorant Jason, the soup can paintings meant something. They defined a changing time in art and consumption....mmmm soup.......right.....

I made the mistake of drinking the four cans prior to reading on the side of the first can that the food guide of Canada, only recommends 5 to 10 servings of vegetables a day. Im so full of natural I have a headache. Fuk watercress, Im going back to clam juice and vodka. Now theres a morning feel better that doesnt end in hypnotic escapes as I look out my office window into a garden of like products that are currently wishy washing around inside me. Im feeling woozy, I have to lay down.

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Monday, October 03, 2005