Who am I writting for, you? Or a pretend creation that is me?
I sat down last night, for the third time, to engage myself in the 2 hour excersise of self that is watching I 'heartIn a brief one line review I can honestly say this film is in the top ten I have ever seen. On that note I think its important for people to never say they have a favorite of something. Food, music, friends, film, roller coasters, sexual partners, it really just is a big lie because there are far too many unique and amazing experiences in the world to classify one as better than the rest. Sure you can have moments of ultimate bliss where you feel as though the most recent experience was by far the best you have relative to the genre to which you are experiencing, but to lie to yourself and forget a great experience you had in the past simply out of immediate context and relative familiarity is a stubborn and tunnel minded way of approaching life's happenings.
In case you can't tell I choose to engage myself today in writings similar to the text that David O. Russel, and Jeff Baena engaged in for Huckabees, as clearly for months of production they went through a constant inner battle of self, other, and their relation to both both inside and out. what? exactly? follow if you can, this is meant as a mind fart. Fart's a weird word.
Though I'm sure many of those who will read this have soaked in the film, I will break down a brief synopsis. A poet-environmentalist seeks the aid of two existensial detectives to find the reasoning behind a coincidence he has experienced three times. From this a spiral of characters seek the aid of the detectives who dig into the lives of a multitude of characters to discover and branch the gap of that which understanding the self veils itself due to modernity and social make up which in turn blurs their personal enlightenment, which in turn destroys all of their material lives ending in peace and self-realized worth to the world and the earth's relationship to human kind. Yeah I know its a deep one, and if you've seen it, that makes sense, and if not, see it. Basically the movie is drawn out of questions like this :
"Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real,the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?
The worst part about finding a movie of probing thought and character development that lets you rank it amongst your top ten of a particular genre of life is that too often by the end of the credits you see elements of yourself driven in film on the massive screen in front of you. The most perplexing thing about agency in our mediated world is that too often, even though I feel as though I have defined myself within and am comfortable with the current character I feel as though I portray in real time, soon after I see a fictional representation of that self-actualized thought put forth by another creative force that I have never met but somehow speaks to me in a way that in an odd combination both creates doubt yet reinforces that which I thought was uniquely mine own.
Where Russel and I differ is that the inspiration he takes from French Buddhist philosophy that human kind forever vascillates between human drama and pure being. While I agree, some people need to live for some form of human drama (everyone should meet my beloved Nicole) and indeed maybe Russel is one of those people, I do not believe that this is embedded in human kind. I for instance am known to avoid said drama at all cost, and while I will at times find myself in the middle of it, it will often be driven out of a boneheaded insensitive comment or move that I drew not realizing the social upheavel that it would bring me. At which point, I do all that I can to fix said problem and bury any ill fated emotions that could otherwise drive a wedge between two people.
Human drama to me is a filler for boredom. A filler for the stagnant happenings that the routines of life otherwise provide. Everyfight I have ever known between two people, other than men at a bar which are acts of primal purity, has been driven out of annoyance of familiarity and routine that one individual find in another.
If we could all recognize the down right sillyness of our verbal and emotional indifferences, so many institutions of life would have a different track record than they do. Hell, what do you think religious war is based out of. Indifference driven from historical routine. Yeah I said it.
I float through life on a cloud of emotional indifference which yes may be ignorant to the masses, but let me tell you, it is rare that I will get overly pissed, aggrevated, or disenchanted from anyone for more than a brief period of time. If you choose to be caught up in the flux that is emotional drama than fine and great, because you are clearly not alone, but if you ever take advice from me realize that too many things do not matter, and no matter what negative happening occurs today, the only thing that it can mean is that better times and emotions and experiences lie in the wake of negativity. So smile at indifference and anger and realize that tomorow is another day.
That or smack yourself in the face with a big rubber ball, find purity and escapism for one moment, which may enlighten your own sense of self.
now get off my couch.
posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Thursday, September 29, 2005
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