Bagel Babe

Since Foxytron 5000 has now not been back to work in just over three weeks I am starting to lose hope that we will ever run off to Reno and be wed. Not to mention I have discovered her firefighter cancer volunteer husband is overly buff and dreamy with an incredible tendency to be nice to me; asshole. I am still convinced she left me a love note upon leaving and it is my fault that I have not found it yet, but nevertheless, I have decided that my work crush must be switched, as it is essential to have one to pass a good hour lusting over during the work day.

My new found, undisclosed to her, love has been ventured northward through the emergency ward, past the coffee kiosk, smack dab in the middle of our nation's pride and joy of the service industry; Tim Horton's.

Oh Bagel Babe how I love your most likely 19, but in my eyes 21 year fine ass, My Chemical Romance groupie looking self. As I approach the cash box, my throat swells with indecision as I gulp to decide what I will order from you today. When will she take the hint that an everything bagel with cream cheese does not just mean the bread and spread.

Your I got too high last night but made it to work, hate my life coffee and donut wheeling mentality puts me in a state of unrest as I order the same old same old out of both romantic confusion and desire that she one day says "the usual" and then leads me to the secret bagel barn where Mister Horton hides his mass of magical bread products. Your lip ring off to the right, your eyebrow piercing gleaming on sight, how you tease me in your baggy bagel clothes and choppy punky hair.

One day I will steal you away, Bagel Babe, to a land where sugary breakfast treats are not served and the world of fresh fruit and punk music awaits you every morning. I noticed a heart shaped spread in my cream cheese today and I think I'm wearing you down, and were it not for your hair net I know you would give me the wink and flip when and wherever you could.

Oh dearest Bagel Babe you make breakfast the most important meal of the day.

*note: our pet names shall be 'sesame seed' and 'vegetable cheese tits'. It is as of yet undecided who will represent each term.

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Wednesday, July 06, 2005