you lucky fuks

I found this secret at postsecret.blogspot.com and quietly think to myself, well until I post it here, that it was indeed written by one of my much beloved friends. There are many reasons as to why, one being that I have a lot of close girlfriends and more importantly have lent out my fair share of clothing; we can all thank fat eano for that ladies. But also and more importantly I know I smell fantastic, in fact it is most likely my most complimented element of self.

The trick is my four step process to smelling good, which yes, in due time will lead to some form of cancer, but for now leaves me with best smelling male at any public arena status; which I adore. I will reveal here and now never to be spoke of again the secret. If you are male, and fortunate enough to read this post before it becomes an archived never to be clicked on again entry, I tell you here and now to embrace the system; why? Because it will get you laid of course!

Step 1: My black friends in highschool taught me this and I can't believe I'm letting the cat out of the bag; but its babypowder. Thats right regular old Johnson's babypowder. It really does make sense though, women love babies, and babies smell good when they are phreshly doused with baby powder. So give yourself a sprinkling to get the ladies hearts a tinkling: sorry the rhyme was unnecessary I know.

Step 2: Anti-persperent: Notice how I did not say deodorant, for this is a very important distinction. I prefer this new power strip makeanodifference stuff that smells pretty good and works well in the summer.

Step 3: A mild up the arm down the chest spritz of Axe or competitive brand. I go for Kilo, and it smells the best but do as you will, just don't go overboard.

Step 4: Now that you are the Ozone's worst enemy, when going out your final dousing of man'smell'good is a cologne of choice. I have a cycle of 3 at the moment, a nautica, a hugo boss, and most frequently mainly for nights where Paige comes out 'cause her noticing pushes this habit further ;), is Dolce & Gabana, for the gino in all of us. One spray on each side of the neck, followed by an open-aired walkthrough and the game has begun.

I figured on the wake of pride weekend in Toronto I oughtta write something afeminite and so what better than a culturally beneficial post of how to better your stank asses.

peas!

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Tuesday, June 28, 2005