National Security is Ruining the Rainbow

Thats right I said it, our national security is ruining the colour spectrum for years to come. Start screening my phone calls and emails, this is the voice of dissent. For I am mad at my own government for taking American inspiration to colour code their alert notices for public warning of disastrous happenings. Who ever decided that the human attention need be diverted to public awareness by the coding of colourfull call signs should be painted to death as he has fabricated a world of fear around an industry only inteded to make the world brighter.

My overthetop anger and bed wetting loathe (what?) only comes out the fact that I personally don't think that anyone could actually rhyme off what colour represents what on the fear rainbow? Do you know what colour symbols Osama's comin' on the CNN thermometer of hate? Is it red? Is it Orange, I think its orange but like hell if I could tell you what the fear scale represents in the ole you.s.of.a.

I was driving in Markham the other night to visit my brown brother for a midnight signalong and garage fiesta when I notice on every overpass sign an Amber alert telling me to watch out for a particular license plate and if seen don't go near and call neuf.un.un if I was able to spot a particular blue toyota. Now my future education since has taught me that Amber alert means abduction of a child, which in Toronto and area has resulted in two Amber disclosed alerts in the past month or so.

Now this is where I criticize, one, the co-opting of colour land, and two, the inneffectiveness of telling the public that orange means run for the hills and that off turquoise means buy a GM. I had no idea what Amber alert meant at the time, I just knew that it probably wasnt in my best interest to run into the advertise Toyota from the sign. However, if I had known that the blue Toyota represented the fucked up self of the Donny Clubb murderer (read story here), I would of turned vigilante and used my honda's gas consumption power to turn Batman and help hunt that Toyota down. I mean they must of thought he was in that area, every sign was lit up all awarery amber like.

Personally I think the sign should of read like this:


Now I understand asshole may of offended some routine 401 drivers but everyone would know what the fuck was up and if anything, everyone would of been looking for Donny's killer, and maybe the boy would of been found prior to the horrible end that the story did finish with; maybe. Don't get me wrong I am very impressed with Ontario's ability to solve a crime in a whirlwind of quickness when shit hits the fan. But Donny died, and though they caught the guy that same evening, leaving the rainbow a simple rainbow and making an alert a straight up cry for help as opposed to a Agatha Christie styled mystery clue might of saved the day before a kid not even two years old had his life taken.

im blue.

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Thursday, July 07, 2005