My Body's Nobody's Body But Mine, You Have Your Own body, So Sell It Online

Im genuinely scared of myspace.com. Ever since dear Alex had mentioned that her new major means of procrastination is to peruse the lovely faces of myspace and see whose hot and who is most definitly not, I have taken it upon myself to also dive into the myspace realm. Call it a love for new toys, call it a means of furthered procrastination, or simply call it a love to follow the likes and dislikes of Alex in hopes that she falls in love with my internet entity and runs away with me into the web free jungle sometime in our lives.

Nevertheless, myspace.com/e4no does exist and after roughly a week or so of wandering the digital club that is 'their space' I am genuinely scared of what this medium brings. Lucious lady after lucious lady keep emailing me saying their interest was perked by my photo, that they live in the area, and that they would like to meet; riiiight. I mean sure Im a striking bachelor working for myself in an arena that aids to fight the most dominant means of human death in the past twenty years, all in hopes of bettering the lives of those around me and basking in the glow of a stronger human unity and peace!!! But cmon, these girls are gorgeous, and their pictures scream I stole you from a porn site.

There is one in particular that is just tantilizingly suspicious. This girl emails me, and says if Id like to message her try this hotmail address. Now I am not trying to find a lovely lady over the web. Im not there yet. To me things like LavaLife and Myspace dating are reserved for those who break up from relationships of which absorbed their entire lives thus pushing away any friends you might of had and in turn now post cut out pictures of yourself with your ex's half arm wrapped around you and a big desperate smile still ringing from ear to ear hoping that wont ever leave you. Roger, internet dating is the for those who thought highschool love was forever?

Being the enthusiastic experimental person I am towards new mediums and the exploration of digital relationships I threw this girl an email. Very straightforward, Hey, how ya doing, why myspace, this is me, yada, yada, no soup for you. This chicky sends me a reply back all full of lustful implications, little semi colon winks, and suggestive hidiho's (stress the ho's). To boot, she's like hey check out my pictures, and sends me this link to a credit card needing online photo depot to see x rated photos of herself.

I mean seriously are scam artists this involved nowadays. Do people maybe get hired to go to lengths of weilding full length lies to entice men to come and drop bucks to see desperate hot stuffs who apparently want your shit online? Like thats scary. Worse off, what if its not even a girl. What if its some guy using pics of girls to bring you to their site. The last thing I need is some 60 year old dude named Wanker, spaking his mouse to the thought of my intrigued self. Ewe, jitters indeed.

Needless to say I signed up, spent $4000 bucks on nudes, and have a date with this guy named Earl at a Starbucks next week. Should be pretty sweet, he has a beautiful rack. haha, why did i just use the word rack?

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Wednesday, December 14, 2005