Sir, you smell great: Ma'am, I love you.

Its so easy for man to fall in love with woman. Sometimes I wonder if women meet bi-weekly or so to practice their tactics and rehearse means by which to make men fall in love with them. It just seems as though its so easy for you all, to cleverly win us over at any point of any day regardless of mood or desire.

In hindsight though, its not really that hard to make a man fall in love with you. The process is actually quite simple, for outside of our superior rationality, natural ability to aid and provide, stunning good looks, and comforting love mechanics, we are creatures with very basic means by which to be blurred by a girl.

You see, the reason that man is so susceptible to crushing foolishly over a multitude of women at any time is that we have very small criteria by which a women needs to appeal to our emotions; are you attractive to me? Though shallow, the answer to this question is all a guy needs from his side of the relationship to fall for you. The rest is up to you.

The nice thing for you girls at this point, is that your role in the man falling for you dynamic is also very simple; and dangerously a position of constant manipulation if operated appropriately. After we find you attractive, the only thing we need to hear from you at this point is shameless, personal flattery.

You see, the man world is very competitive, and everything in our mindset revolves around competition. This concept explains professional sports alone. We need to be the best, be associated with the best, or at times lie and pretend we know the best but really only were introduced at a mutual friends party but never really said more than "Nice to meet you".

For this reason alone, women have an incredible opportunity to make men fall over flat for them, by simple complimentary jargon. Here is a brief cheat sheet to help you get a guy to be all over you:

• You are so strong, fast, or agile: Works nicely after pick up basketball or football games

• Your wallet is so big: A clever inuendo that will result in you not only having us fall for you, but also have us continue to buy you things.

• I really like your style, car, shoes, and the way your hair makes your muscles look bigger: Versatile usability with all of the previous.

• Clever flattery of our lovin' ability. Sure the first few times with someone are often more beneficial for the guy than the girl, and this is usually due to the intoxication factor in the birth of modern relationships. But spouting a few "gosh that was great" words, after your mild dissapointment, will keep us coming back and back and back again. *Note: That was also an inuendo.

Any of the above given man's attraction criteria will have us nustled up to you in no time, but keep in mind that men are also extremely cunning and witty. Be careful not to lose your power of persuasion to the dynamic fox like characteristics of we clever bastards.

Did you know wit is on the Y chromozone. That and back hair apparently.

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Monday, November 21, 2005