Parkour can kiss my ass, and scrape my knee

Okay...so let's all laugh a little on a fabulous monday.

So parkour or free running is this all the rage new form of moving from place to place. It's defined at parkour.com as "the art of moving from one place to another with fluidity allows you to see your environment differently. The Quest's goal is to become part of the environment in order to develop your mind and body". Now after visiting with my brother this past weekend, and reading an article from last month's mit zine (mitsc.ca/zine) I'm all like, "yeah this is pretty cool". Now you have to understand me saying that something is pretty cool usually means, I accept, enjoy the thought of, watch, get impressed, and then go about my day. Well for some reason like twenty minutes ago, I'm working away in the media lab and me and Poolie decide to go out for a smoke.

So were outside smoking, and Cindy encourages to move to the other side of the building so as to escape the blistering plus 15 winds (damn you CID), and Im all like "Poolie, let's Parkour!!!" So we start the fluid motion of moving place to place and I'm all like up on the ledges, skipping, spinning off the cement and then i go to pivot off the wall and then as im coming down, WHAMMO! ground.

If parkour is about interacting with your environment, I certainly parkoured my ass right into stardom. My elbow interacted with the cement, my pants interacted with the cement, my knees grossely interacted with the cement, and my dignity floated far far away from my laid out on the ground ass, as I winced and moaned with my twisted ankle and bloody palms.

So to all you wanna be spiderman parkourers out there...bite me, Im sticking to porches, and couches and Ill roll over them and soak up the "lifestyle" more than any of you free runners could ever get out of groping a poll or leaping tall buildings.

...when i hurt, i patronize!

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Monday, April 11, 2005