Who Wants to RingRing up on ma DingDing?

Twice this week lady friends of mine have asked me what it really means when a guy calls them at 3am asking how they are doing. Well, for those who are not a fan of observing the obvious, today I am going to highlight what exactly it means when a gentleman caller chooses 3am as his beck and call time.

Plain and simply, he wants to sleep with you. Yes I am now aware that hearts are shattered, breath's have been lost, and the girl world is stuck in utter dismay. However, though these girls asked inquisitively as to the true meaning of their late night calls, I refuse to believe that you ladies dont actually know whats up when a guy you may or may not be interested in, gives you a ring in the 'oui' hours just to see whats going on.

Now, before the men of the world strike me down for making an accute observation about our natural need to late night party I will throw some masculine defense into the mix. Calling a girl late at night, possibly drunk, high, or what have you, does not necessarily mean that the guy only wants a horizontal dance party (wow that was lame). There is a chance, though be it a unique one, that said guy simply wants to talk to you, see whats up, how your night was and then both of you can driftily fall off to sleep to the sound of each others breathe across the telecommunication love roller coaster that is the phone system.

That above paragraph is however, a blantent load of shit; to a degree. Now I know people, hell its clear that I am a good psychologist based on all the rise I got out of people bitch slapping the psychology profession a couple days ago. So I feel I know the human psyche, and I feel as though I know what guys are really thinking: Its not just sex, and its not just love, but it is a sad state somewhere in between.

What it means when a guy calls you a 3am is that he is lonely. Straight up. And that he feels you might be lonely and better yet that you are both lonely with an offshoot chance that you both are sitting in a lonely place thinking of one another. Now yes, the ultimate prize of that phone call is that you two are fucking by five, but truthfully, the guy just wants to meet up, hang out, and if push comes to NO shove, sleep beside each other so that you have a sexy someone to go out to breakfast with the next morning.

We're not all dog ladies, and there is some genuine to us. However, and this is a big HOWEVER. Don't ever pretend that when you ask a second guy what it means when another guy called at 3am, that you dont know what is going on. And better yet, dont pretend like you dont want to be snogging him anyways. Your just pissed that he chose 3am as the romance hour and you caved, got er dun, and woke up hoping you wernt just victim to the sweet sultry sounds of the Y chromozone.
*who wants to make out

posted by mr. tomas ubik @ Friday, August 05, 2005